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England not picking a spinner feels like going out for a walk without an umbrella

September 11, 2026 · The Guardian

England's choice to deploy an exclusively fast-bowling lineup struggled to make an impact as Pakistan's middle-order batters resisted firmly, defending, evading, and striking against a repetitive sequence of back-of-length deliveries. Although Dan Lawrence ultimately secured a breakthrough, the host side acutely missed having a dedicated frontline spinner on hand to vary the assault. With the contest dragging, the visiting team had reason to question England's recent reputation as a dominant cricketing side.

Meanwhile, the Hollies Stand provided its own spectacle at 2:30 p.m. as spectators engaged in a massive conga line. The costumed crowd featured a single Willy Wonka alongside 11 Oompa Loompas, 15 Fred Flintstones, five cardinals carrying an inflatable doll, and four Roman centurions. The procession also included three six-foot tequila bottles, two Dave Bedfords, one Geri Halliwell, one Donald Trump, and concluded with a Dolly Parton.